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When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." 

 

"Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud"  

 

Best Divorce Letter - Never let love DIE

Dear hubby,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever.. I’ve been a good woman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell..
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut,had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk dress.You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your games. You don’t tell me you love me any more; you don’t want anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you are cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.
Your EX-
Wife
P.S. Don’t try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving away to WestVirginia together! Have a great life!

FOLLOWING IS THE RESPONSE FROM THEHUSBAND


Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good woman is afar cry from what you’ve been. I watch my games so much because they drown out your constant whining & gripe Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was‘You look just like a boy!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked myfavorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because Istopped eating pork 7 years ago.. About those new silk dress: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out.. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for areason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but mybrother Carl was born as Carla(woman) ……… .I hope that’s not a problem

 

   

 

 

Husband V/S Wife

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

Wife: No darling, it means,

With Idiot For Ever

 

************ ********* ********* *********

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,

So I'd be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,

So I could have a new one everyday.

 

************ ********* ********* *********

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping

pills.

Wife: When must I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you

 

************ ********* ********* *********

Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.

Husband: You should have known it the minute

I asked you to marry me.

 

************ ** ******* ********* *********

 

Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.

So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why Three?

Husband: For you and your parents

 

************ ********* ********* *********

Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest ?

Husband: A lovely gentle Push